Showing posts with label reflection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reflection. Show all posts

Sunday, June 15, 2014

18. Matopos’ Future




As my son and I walk down the sandy road we read yesterday like a book. A rhino walked along this path; you can feel his presence in his footprints, the size of dinner plates, meticulously measured intervals, in a neat row. He was here all right, he did not stop to eat, nor did he hesitate at the low water bridge, he walked with diligence and measured intention to the midden where he discarded the remains of a few meals, kickstarting the cycles of the dung beetles and flies.

“I wonder how often he comes this way”, my son asks, even though there is no need to answer that question. We examine the rest of yesterday’s entomological history written in the clean slate provided by the rhino. We can tell the passage of the insects, even to the species, here and there we can even tell that the chat were hunting ants as their trails suddenly ends where their path crossed that of the chat. The end of another life. The chat’s chicks will not mind though.

For many reasons, we humans are intensely interested in knowing the future. Some make predictions, some stare into crystal balls, and others construct computer models, but tomorrow remains largely unknown. There are no accurate methodological approaches to study details of the future.

However, we are incredibly good at studying the past. We can learn so much - the forms, the functions and the workings of things, the patterns, the processes and cycles and the dimensions of time. There are so many things we can decipher and measure in the past that may help us to understand something of the future.  We learn the amplitude of events and from that we can at least say what limits the future may conform and behave to, or the boundaries the future will adhere to or within. 

When the camp attendant drops a wheelbarrow of wood near our fireplace I can see the rings in the wood where the sharp axe cleaved through time. The age of those branches and trees can be determined in a manner similar to that which my fellow students at university counted the growth rings in the teeth of predators and other beasts… their history trapped in their own bones, the leaner times marked, and promising an era of more rapid growth. All the way through time until you get to the outer layer, the year before death… the ultimate end. 

At a much larger scale, the rivers may cut their own way through the “parent material”, exposing the geology of the earth as layers accumulated in places, revealing the genesis of the earth. This process is remarkably similar to the archeologist’s meticulous labor exposing the life and times of the dwellers within the caves. They pick through the dirt, and read their ancient history, their recipe books, their enemies, art and births and deaths and other woes. It is all there, we just need to learn to read the specific language of the past. 

Our desire to decipher the future forces us to study the past and our endeavors to do that focuses our minds on various measures of time. The most predictable of all are most probably the seasons. As summer turns into autumn, announcing winter, there is always for me a sense of promise in the turning of the seasons.  The earth is telling us: “Yes, winter is coming, and it will come, but beyond winter lies the season of promise! Spring and summer”. Then, the plants will blossom and bloom, seeds will germinate as will ideas, others will come out of hibernation and a new cycle of life will initiate itself. So the seasons are predictable, we know to a large extent what lies ahead in broad terms. We are however completely unable to say with definitive accuracy if this winter is going to a cold, or a mild one… we stash the wood none-the-less. 

Studying the beasts of the veld and the food and feed they eat for nourishment, we can determine that some will live one season only, others will be around for a few. The pachyderms will most probably live as long as one can expect a mammal to live for. We can predict, based on the past, that the impala will drop their young at the right time, when the earth generously provides; each year, they will do it, until their end. So can we, if we get a mate, if we are fertile, if we have enough to build a home and if, and if, and many many other ifs… That level of detail is not known, and never will be. But, strangely, we know what we need to know. We know the seasons are pretty well defined in time, so we can prepare our fields and plant our crops, and harvest and plan for the dry months. We can count our kids and determine the amount of food to hoard. Perhaps that level of detail is enough, do we need to know more?

I wonder about the history I am writing for my sons and their children. It reminds me that we need write good stories in the sand for those who follow us. It is in our power to make the present good, for what we do today, will, like the rhino’s path, be tomorrow’s history. We may not be able to know our future, but perhaps and far more importantly, its our duty to make the history books of those who will follow us worthy of further examination! Make that history good, make it count - it may change someone else’s tomorrow. 

Perhaps, like the past, the future is written in these rocks and trees and rivers and tracks in the sand.  Perhaps the days and the nights are the individual words, the months are the paragraphs, while the seasons account for the sections of the chapters, announced by the different years, punctuated by droughts and wet seasons. As such there may be many books, libraries in fact, all capturing, harboring and hiding the history and the future for those bold enough to read the words.

 
















Monday, June 10, 2013

14. Reflecting Matobo


Please visit the The Arts in Focus to obtain information about our 2014 Matopos Calendar - 
an initiative supporting rhino conservation in Zimbabwe.

I had a dog during a period of my life when I really needed a good friend. Although he died young, he helped me through the turbulent teenage phase, and he helped me well. Jack had an incredible and uncanny way to sense my mood. On those vibrant exuberant spring days so characteristic of the lowveld where I grew up, he would adjust his behavior either to complement or to accommodate mine. When I was happy Jack would bounce alongside me, panting in anticipation. When I was sad or lonely he would simply walk next to me, watching me, to be there for me, strong and powerful, the rock against which I could lean. When I sat at a waterhole watching a herd of impala drink, he would push his body right up against mine and lean his head on my shoulder with a wet nose in my neck, breathing gently onto my skin. That would have its magic effect on me and soon my mood would improve, and invariably Jack would run ahead in the footpath, towards home, happy with his personal achievement, wagging his tail because his master was in a better mood.

 Many years have past since I spent a real thought on Jack, that is until I got to know Matobo better. As with my dog, Matobo senses my moods and, more importantly, my needs. My mood is reflected in the atmosphere as I move through this incredible landscape. How is it possible that this place can easily mold itself around the emotional needs of a man, in fact of all the people there?

I go to Matobo as an escape from the sadness in me… and Matobo accepts me and reacts in a gentle way, offering me comfort and guiding me through the rough parts in my heart. He accepts me as I am without rejecting my negative emotions. Instead, he works with them and gently, gently makes me understand, accept and handle those emotions. Subtly, he shows me the blue sky and the new fresh leaves, a gust of wind may bring new smells and who can remain sad when you smell the first rain on dry soil?

I once went to Matobo to seek peace, cause I was angry at life, angry at what happened to my mother, angry that life is unfair and walked long and hard through the rocky landscape, and this time Matobo reflected my anger. Again my feelings were not rejected, simply accepted and dealt with. The thorns of the acacias ripped through my skin, bit into, and tore bits of leather from my shoes. The granite rocks, hot in the midday sun, reflected my own anger in heat, and where I had to lean against the rocks to regain my breath it burnt like the fury in me. The place was angry and he was not afraid to show me his anger. I sensed his immense anger and it shocked me into silence. I stopped to think. Was Matobo angry for my own reasons? Or was he angry because of his own reasons? Perhaps the grass that was burnt, the rhino that were poached or the gold panning in the rural areas, scarring its surface? No matter the reasons for his fury, I could feel it in the trees and rocks and boulders. I could hear it in his angry roars. The incessant cicadas were screaming it out in frequencies and decibels that befit the anger of the behemoth.

I thought about my own anger. I tried to justify it, fight it out, even screamed it out but my own human voice faded in the rocks and did not carry like the roar of a lion or the call of the fish eagle. It faded into insignificance and fell limp at my feet. I was defeated. Defeated by anger.

Matobo understood and allowed me space. Allow does not mean pamper. It does not mean he agreed and supported my anger. He only reflected it, showing me what it is, showing me the futility - the lion does not roar its anger, nor does the fish eagle call his anger over the echoing valleys. They communicate in peace and harmony, and therefore the valleys are prepared to perpetuate those good sounds, amplify them and echo them. But my anger was simply absorbed and muffled in the thick vegetation. There is no harmony in the voice of human anger!

Just as my dog many years ago coached me out of my anger, Matobo did it too. Once you vented your anger, fought the fury of it and the blood on your arms and legs dry up and can be scratched off, exposing the torn skin, then all you have from your blind fury is the burning sensation of thorns and nettles and abrasions from sharp unforgiving granite. The rage of fury at least brings some understanding, even if it is only the understanding of defeat.

Humbled by this experience I lay on my stomach amongst the ever-present lichens and let their brilliant colors permeate my heart and mind. Matobo, is like a great big mirror, a channel of vision straight into your heart and mind. In its wisdom it allows you to see yourself the way you are. It reflects the real you, and many times that is not what you want to see. For it is this image we have within us that we want to hide from the rest of the world.

Matobo however has a way to help you deal with it. At first it will show you who you are, what you look like, then it will allow you to go through your motions and tantrums… but slowly it will reel you in. You will walk out on top of a large rock/dwala, into the breeze. The anger will suddenly drain out of you, induced by the cool breeze in your face. You will breathe in deeply, perhaps for the first time today. Your mood will changes as you allow this place to guide you and mold you back into the shape you ought to be. Just allow it. Don’t fight it for longer than you need to. Bend your ways like the water bends the reflections of the reeds in the early morning. It will slowly bring you around the way the wind flows through the valleys, then it will show you the other side, the better side. The beauty within.